Back in the day you heard this phrase much more often than you do now. I remember the first time I heard it I thought it was pure genius. What a concept! I don’t have to drink no matter what!!??
I have had lots of no matter whats throughout my sobriety. The reason I stay sober during these times is that I have taken the 12 steps and applied them in my daily life. I now have the tools to withstand the no matter whats. Someone once asked me “what if I fall off the wagon?” I was hesitant for a moment with my reply. I thought about that question, the wagon. I replied “I can’t fall off because I am not on a wagon.” My higher power has given me a daily reprieve from drinking and using.
So, those of us who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, don’t go for wagon rides. I have been given a way of life that does not include a white-knuckle type of sobriety. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous states that we are safe and protected as long as we stay in fit spiritual condition. This condition is the gift of sobriety which my Higher Power has bestowed on me. All I have to do is stay close to Him and perform His work well. My reward is a reprieve from the lash of alcoholism and addiction. It can’t get much better than that.
Granted I don’t get to just sit on the couch and watch the days go by. There is a solution. None of us liked the proposition of leveling our mis-directed pride or the sharing of our short comings with our sponsor or a close-mouthed friend. But by being involved in the fellowship we saw others in whom the drinking and using problem had been solved. They appeared to have a working relationship with their Higher Power and seemed quite content and even happy. This was what I wanted; to be free from the shackles of addiction. I wanted to be able to go anywhere and maintain my dignity. This was something I had given up on in my drinking and using years.
While practicing our addiction we lose track of what is truly important. It may be said that our moral compass is broken. We do outrageous things and think and scheme unreasonable thoughts. We harm others so badly at times that they carry the hurt with them for life. We are very unlovable creatures while in the throes of addiction. Only by the grace and mercy of a loving Higher Power are we able to rebuild our lives.
Thank God for this program. After all my years of sobriety I am still in awe and gratitude for the gift of sobriety which I have been given. Quite a few addicts are seeking justice in repairing their lives. Justice? I prefer grace and mercy. If I was to have been given justice, I would probably be locked up somewhere for life. No matter what. Burn that into your consciousness. If you are sincere and truly committed to recovery you will find it. Just remember, no matter what.