Self-Seeking Will Slip Away

- August 4, 2022

The next promise we are going to look at Is “self-seeking will slip away.”  This could mean that it is not all about me any longer.  While drinking one may say that everything, we did was focused on what we could get out of it.  The thought of how our actions and attitudes could affect others never entered our minds.  If we got a wild notion such as we were moving to Texas (no offense Texans) then so be it.  If we had a family, we may uproot children from school and the spouse from their job or social set.  Nothing mattered except what we wanted.  Never mind that there was nothing waiting for us in Texas.  No job, family or anything was on the agenda.  We had just decided to move to Texas and that was that.

We may have other crazy notions such as starting to paint the house and in the midst of painting deciding we didn’t feel much like painting any longer.  Suddenly our home became an eyesore in the neighborhood.  The more it upset our neighbors the more we appeared to dig in our heels and leave it half painted. We actually found this amusing.  We thought that these stupid neighbors ought to mind their own business.  

There was also a financial toll that was to be had as we spent our money frivolously in bars trying to impress everyone that we had plenty of money.  Little did anyone know that we had an eviction notice placed on our front door that day.  All that mattered at the moment was that we be perceived as big shots by our drinking companions.  We also would attract members of the opposite sex as we showed off and became more reckless with our time and money.

All of this was selfish and self-seeking behavior.  If we had a partner waiting at home nervously for the rent money, it would probably never make it there.  If there were children involved this made it worse.  Single people were not off the hook here either.  They had bills to pay and needed to put food on the table also.  Nothing seemed worse that having to face our boss again over a drinking spree which caused us to miss work without calling in.  Sometimes we had the shakes so badly that we were not able to hold the phone steady enough to make a call.  We would give up and usually start another drinking spree.  After all there was nothing we could do about today.

In sobriety we become responsible persons again or maybe for the first time in our lives.  As we become more conscious of others our actions that affect others matter very much.  We wouldn’t dream of squandering the rent money.  Eviction notices became a thing of the past.  We may even now work overtime to give our family extras.  And for the single person we may learn how to save money or help our family out financially when asked.  Our motives change in sobriety, and it is not all about me any longer.  I may take out the neighbor’s trash as I take out mine.  I may feed my friends beloved pet as they go on vacation.  Just imagine, I am trustworthy again!  I don’t go through people’s medicine cabinets any longer or drink up their booze.  Everything is not about me any longer.  It feels good to be trusted and respected maybe for the first time in our lives.  This is how it is for us as we stay sober and apply the principles of the program to our lives, 

Written by Phillip