Moderation is not a word which is found in a practicing alcoholic’s vocabulary. Usually, the mantra that is found is “more is better.” For the alcoholic in their disease will take anything that may promise a better high. Someone may offer the alcoholic a pill of some sort. The typical reaction is to swallow the pill and ask questions later. The alcoholic may eventually ask what type of drug the pill was, but it really doesn’t matter to them.
The addict is always chasing that first elusive high they got when they first started using. They used the substance and found nirvana. This was it for them; life was now beautiful. But waiting in the wings was King Alcohol and numerous drugs. The more the substance was used, the higher the tolerance level became. It eventually became necessary to double or triple up on one’s consumption in order to reach a semblance of that first high.
Life was becoming intolerable. We had alienated most of our friends and loved ones by our caustic tongue and irrational behavior. We became very unpredictable in just how we were going to behave in any given situation. We had depleted our bank accounts, been fired from our job and possibly had problems with law enforcement. We had no clue as to what to do. So, we did the only thing that we knew how to do and that was to try to stay drunk and high. Alcohol and drugs had become our master.
If we were lucky providence intervened and we were introduced to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Maybe this thing would work for us. We had to stop drinking and this program offered a glimmer of hope on the horizon. We tried to stay sober enough to go to one of their meetings, but it took several tries to accomplish this. Finally, reeking of alcohol we were able to attend our first meeting.
Here we found people who shook our hand and said welcome in spite of our condition. They got some coffee for us as we were too jittery to pour it from the pot. We were able to sit at the table and listen to these sober people. It turns out that they were just like me! They too had become powerless over alcohol and drugs and their lives had become unmanageable. I wondered what type of magical pill they had taken. But I was to learn that there was no pill. There were simply the 12 steps of recovery. At first, I balked at these steps, but I kept going back to meetings. They kept shaking my hand and said to keep coming back. These people were unreal! And they were sober and appeared to be quite happy about it.
Would I finally put down the drink and the drug? With the help of these people and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I agreed to stop using and drinking. They said that you need a sponsor to take you through the steps. I talked to this person whose sharing I enjoyed and asked them to be my sponsor. They said yes and we began our work in the program. Here was hope incarnate and it was available to me. I worked those steps and continued to stay sober. I have never looked back and I cling to my new found faith in a Higher Power to keep me sober.