The recovery life is not a theory. We have to live it for it to remain effective in our daily lives. It may seem repetitious but just what is required in order to obtain and maintain our sobriety. Well continues defects of character crop up and we have to delve more deeply into them with a close-mouthed friend in order to find relief from the symptoms. We come to value our peace and serenity more than anything. We avoid arguments at all costs. We speak in a lower tone of voice. All of these things are some of what must be done in order to remain serene.
When I was practicing my addiction, I had to always be right in any given conversation or situation. I would push things to the edge in order to get what I perceived as my way. Even if I was wrong, I would argue and become most unpleasant. Maybe this is one of the reasons that I lost all my friends but one. The give and take in a conversation eluded me. It was my way or the highway. Only when I sensed that you had given up was, I satisfied.
Another thing in recovery that I had to learn about arguing and being right was that did I want to be right or sober? Sometimes, well most times for me at least it is better to bow out of a situation before it escalates. This saved up my energy for a constructive conversation and I’m sure the other person was glad to be saved of their energy. We could politely agree to disagree and move on to some other topic.
Communication skills are key to having good relationships with others. No one likes a know it all. By learning how to communicate in an effective manner in recovery we are able to converse about most things with others. We are able to listen to the other person’s point of view with respect. Maybe we can learn from what they have to say. After all we are not experts on everything anymore.
Effective communication is an art form. When newly sober we may not have much of a vocabulary. We have buried it under our addiction. We were too busy being right about everything. This put the brakes on our proper use of our language. We ere not even polite to others and please and thank you had left us long ago. We felt entitled so why say please or thank you! The study of communication can be quite fascinating. It enables us to express ourselves in a better way. And by doing this we are able to foster better relations with others.