According to the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 63, there is a long period of reconstruction of our lives ahead. Reminding ourselves that we are to be willing to go to any lengths to keep our sobriety, we set out to right the wrongs we committed while drinking. There is sure to be a lot of work ahead to make our amends and put our lives in order.
The first people we need to approach are our family members (if we still have one). Spouses may or may not confess past infidelities. This should be done on a case-by-case basis as we could cause more harm than good. Talking with our sponsor or another closed mouth friend is probably the right place to start when it comes to this issue. At times it is wise to keep such information to ourselves. We are not here to continue to hurt people’s feelings. We do not confess these wrongs to assuage our guilt. Somethings we just have to live with it order to not destroy relationships. Or goal is peace and serenity, not more harm and confusion. I’m sure there are many other things that needs to be righted with our spouses besides this topic.
We also have a duty to approach our employer (if we still have one). This is another area that we need to discuss how to proceed with our sponsor or closed mouth friend. Our employer may or may not know of our drinking escapades. Chances are that they had an idea that something was the matter with us. If we go to them to make amends for our past conduct and mistakes we do so with no expectations on their part. It may be company policy that you be let go. Remember we are willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. If this happens to us, so be it. Like I said, it is wise to talk to our sponsor before setting out on this errand. We may need the job to support our family and put food on the table. It is not fair to the family if we are unable to provide for them. So, we may or may not have a conversation with our employer.
We will probably have lots more people on our list to make amends to. This should be also done with careful consideration. We never try to save our own skin by inflicting more pain and suffering on others. There are also probably financial amends that will need to be made. This we do one at a time without dodging our creditors. Remember it was said that the period of reconstruction would be long. Some people cannot for various reasons be approached. Some others may have passed away. We just need to become willing to get started in the amends making process and we will be amazed how good we feel after doing so. Some people may not be receptive to or approach. The point is that we are willing to go to any lengths to stay sober.