Newly sober addicts will probably find a myriad of situations suddenly requiring their attention. These types of situations can be relational, financial, work related, health concerns, divorce or separation, homelessness, legal issues and many other types of difficulties. It may appear to the addict that he has entered a long, dark tunnel with no light appearing at the end. However, there is light at the end of the tunnel only it is now obscured by the wreckage we created while practicing our addiction. We become so bogged down by this wreckage that we may lose hope of ever clearing this wreckage away. We may lose hope in our Higher Power, the 12 Step program and the ability to navigate these shark infested waters.
At this point in our sobriety, it becomes very important to have a sponsor and other sober people in our lives who can offer hope and encouragement to us during this part of our journey. Others can share with us how they handled the wreckage they created, and we may find that their wreckage may have been far worse than ours! This is one of the very important parts of building a sober network of friends and acquaintances we can call upon for guidance and assurance that “this too shall pass.” Hearing others share how they navigated their way through the tunnel and were able to resolve their issues can help to keep us on the right track. We may suddenly find that when one door is closed, another one is opened.
Unresolved problems and issues can be triggers for the addict to use again. It takes time and repetition in using the tools of the program in order to remain in a comfortable state of mind. Once having achieved this serenity we find out just how joyous peace and quiet can be. The literature states that “we cease fighting everything and everyone.” I can ask myself “do I want to be sober or right about a contentious point someone is making? In hindsight we are usually able to see how a situation would have turned out if we had engaged in a battle. We learn to pick our battles. We don’t need to fight every little slight that crops up. And we also learn to communicate in these types of situations in a low tone of voice. This helps to deescalate any feathers that may have been ruffled. Peace is restored much more quickly, and we regain our serenity. We avoided the trigger that could have led us back to a place we don’t want to be in. And we remained sober and grateful that we don’t have to act out like we use to in the past.